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Current Issue: November 17, 2009

Summer's here and the madness is already in full swing


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Summer gives us all some time to relax, but for some, even the calming warmth of summer can’t relax them—like these strange people who rob banks with fruit, call the police over a dirty room, and shoot people because their pets are a little less than fuzzy.

Ever wonder what would happen if you brought your pet snake to school? Well, I don’t know, but I do know that taking little Slippery Pete to the barbershop isn’t a fantastic idea. Two men were shot while trying to get haircuts because they brought their pet snake to the barbershop.

Memphis, Tennessee residents Dion Gayden and Tavoris Jackson were happily on their way to get some haircuts when their pet snake stirred up some unrest among the other customers.

According to the Associated Press,  a man at the house at which Gayden and Jackson get haircuts didn’t like the snake and began arguing with the men. Both Gayden and Jackson were shot, but not seriously injured.

Perhaps snakes aren’t up your alley. Maybe you prefer something a little more…nutritious. 17-year-old John Szwalla of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, attempted to rob a store using a banana.

According to the Associated Press, Swzalla held the banana under his shirt-like in those two-bit movies-but was held down by the store owner and a customer.

As police made their way to the store, Swzalla ate the banana. I’m not sure if this was to destroy evidence or because he was hungry, but I think we’ve learned an important lesson here: it’s always a good idea to eat your fruits and vegetables. Swzalla faces an attempted armed robbery charge.

Last lesson of the day: clean your room, no matter how old you are. 28-year-old Andrew Mizsack learned that the hard way.
According to AP, Mizsack’s father, also named Andrew Mizsack, called the police after his son threw a plate of food at him and shook and threatened him with a fist after being asked to clean his room.

Mizsack Jr., a political consultant and school board member in Bedford, Ohio, lives in his parents’ basement, and after his father didn’t press charges in order to not tarnish his son’s political career, said that he was lucky to live somewhere rent-free, and will gladly clean his room in the future.
 

Email: ashj813@msn.com

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