Fonzworth Bentley schools on swagger

Christina Wingate, Staff Writer
Published On: 11/ 3/2009

The word “rebel” doesn’t bring to mind a 35-year-old man who is cleanly clad in a tobacco-colored jacket with a blue silk shirt and a complementary tie and handkerchief. The word certainly doesn’t bring to mind a Southern gentleman who is promoting an etiquette book entitled “Advance Your Swagger: How to Use Manners, Confidence, and Style to Get Ahead.”

Fonzworth Bentley is a mover and shaker who has risen from being an assistant to hip-hop heavyweight, Diddy, to a legitimate entrepreneur, musician and television star. His most recent recognizable television work is the popular MTV reality show, “From G’s To Gents,” which he both hosts and produces.

On Thursday, Oct. 29 the Black Student Awareness Committee and the Blazer Male Excellence Network brought Bentley to the Hill University Center for his 76th college lecture and book signing. During the session, Bentley addressed the elements that he believes make up a highly successful person.

Admittedly, when Mr. Bentley first stepped on the stage, I was a bit disappointed, for he began reading from a paper for a couple of minutes. Just as I began to tire of watching him read, he pulled the microphone away from the podium and became alive and unscripted.

Suddenly, everyone in the audience became CEOs, rather than students and parents. He advised that everyone look at his or her personal accomplishments like the business reports of a company.

Throughout the lecture, Bentley suggested tips that everyone could take to check on their company. Creating a mental self-logo, being realistic about personal strengths and weaknesses, and setting high goals were just a few of the methods he mentioned.

Bentley describes himself as being at “spiritual warfare” and has made it his mission in life to inject a new sense of cool into our society. He laments that in our “Golden Age of Disrespect,” bad manners, lack of common courtesy and excessive profanity have gone beyond just what the cool kids do, to the absolute norm.

“Cool is so powerful,” said Bentley. “Be careful about what you think is cool. You can’t allow someone’s opinion of you reflect your reality.”

Bentley implied that it is not too late to start adopting such principles.

“I didn’t always think this way,” he admitted.

He recalls a humorous story about being forced to attend an etiquette school when he was in grade school. Little did he know, years later, Bill Cosby would look across a dining table at him and say, “I like the way you use your cutlery.”
This was the start of Bentley’s enlightenment of the importance of good breeding.

Bentley’s mother, who was in the audience along with his father and his long-time girlfriend, received extensive praise from Bentley throughout the show. At one point, he even called upon her to answer an audience member’s question when he felt that he could not do it properly. Bentley gave her credit for much of his mindset, including his sense of spirituality.

“I know who I am and whose I am,” he said, pointing above.

There were a myriad of questions from audience members. When asked what his biggest challenge in life has been, he recalled a dark period in his life when a pain that he was sure was a mild hernia turned out to be a malignant tumor the size of a volleyball in his stomach.

When his mother asked around for the best specialist in the world to operate on her son, she was uncannily referred to a surgeon at UAB. Later, the surgeon, who has since left the University, said, “We have witnessed a miracle. Your tumor is benign.”

“Faith is like a muscle,” Bentley stressed.

 Email: auoli87@uab.edu