GhostingIllustration by Jada Nguyen/ Contributing Illustrator

 

Are You Being Ghosted?

 

Imagine this: you are in a relationship, and suddenly this person you like cuts you off all forms of communication and no attempts are made to respond to your messages or calls.

 

 Now odds are, that their phone didn’t die or that they left for some emergency for an extended period of time, but instead they just decided to end the relationship without an explanation as to why. You’ve just been ghosted.

 

 Sophia Haynes, sophomore in nursing, said few years back, when her then-boyfriend abruptly stopped responding to her texts and calls.  

 

“It really hurt my feelings,” Haynes said.I thought that it was my fault. I kept trying to figure out what I did wrong.’’ 

 

Ghosting has become more and more common in modern dating, with people suddenly disappearing and cutting off all connection as a way of ending relationships.

 

“The rise in ghosting reflects a general break-down in norms and scripts around dating,” said Mieke Beth Thomeer, SociologyPh.D. “Some sociologists even argue that “dating is dead,’’ especially in college,’’ pointing out how rarely college students go on formal dates.

 

So, is there a ghost in your midst?

 

Ghosting- The practice of ending a personal relationship by suddenly and without explanation Magnifying Glass Clipart Transparent Backgroundwithdrawing from all communication

 

“Face-to-face interactions have decreased, and so ghosting becomes an easy option,” Thomeersaid.  “It’s unlikely you will run into that person “in real life,” so it’s easy enough to just block on social media or texts.’’

 

When asked, almost all students admitted to having ghosted someone in the past, Edward Cruz junior in Biomedical Sciences, said “It was just a lot easier than breaking up with them face to face, because I was scared of their reaction.’’

 

 Emily Cheng freshman in public health, said the person she was in a relationship with “was having negative effects on [her] mental health and ghosting him was easier’’ than going through the emotional aftermath of a breakup.

 

Ghosting can be brought up by fear of the other person’s reaction to a breakup; it can be a way to avoid conflict, as it lacks consequences most of the time; or it can just seem like a way of protecting your own feelings, since there is no need to deal with the aftermath said Thomeer.

 

“Ghosting is a trend,” Thomeer said. Just like unclear norms about what dating and relationships are, unclear norms about when and how to leave relationships exists.’’ 

 Poll

Results are from Twitter and Instagram Kaleidoscope accounts. 
 

Since ghosting is becoming more a part of modern dating, how can we deal with the feeling of being ghosted?

 

Thomeersaid if you haven’t heard from a person in a while, give them an ultimatum. If they don’t respond in the next week, then assume it’s over, and while seeming harsh it can give you the feeling of closure that being ghosted lacks.

 

 If it is in fact over, don’t automatically blame yourself,Thomeer said. No context or explanation for ending the relationship was given, so don’t get yourself down thinking you were the cause. Surround yourself with those you trust like friends and family, putting your ghosting situation into perspective. 

 

“I never really did find out why he did that to me,”Cheng said. “I was so scared it was something I did. I never had the courage to ask, but I had some really good friends that were there for me and told me that was not it. They made me feel better about myself, which really helped me move on."

 

Tips on what to do when being ghosted:

  • Give your significant other an ultimatum
  • If they don't respond within a few days, assume it's over
  • Surround yourself with those you trust like friends and family, putting your ghosting situation into perspective

 

Odalys Ordonez
Contributing Reporter
ordonezo@uab.edu

 

 

About - Student Media

UAB Student Media is the home of the University of Alabama at Birmingham’s student-run media outlets. They include Kaleidoscope , an award-winning weekly newspaper; BlazeRadio, our 24-hour online radio station live on the TuneIn app; Aura, a much-heralded literary arts magazine; and UABTV, original, web-based video programming. UAB students operate all media. The articles, posts, newscasts and opinions are solely those of its student writers, producers, editors, deejays, etc. and do not reflect that of the university, its administrators or the Student Media advisors.

 

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